A friend sent me an article from the Jerusalem Post. It seems that a minor happening here in St. Louis has set off a tweet storm around the world. It all started when a St. Louis guy brought his co-workers some sliced bagels from Panera’s (St. Louis Bread Company).

The Great Bagel Blasphemy

The bagels were sliced, but vertically like bread slices. Heavens to Betsy!!  Clouds parted; thunder clapped! It was a bagel blasphemy heard round the world.

New Yorkers seem to be especially upset. And that included Chuck Schumer and the NYPD, who considered the act “criminal.” After all, they said, the word “bagel” comes from a High German phrase meaning “ring” and should be cut in that fashion. Even mystery writer James Patterson tweeted, “Just found my next true crime novel.”

Hmm. . . a Hoax?

Some St. Louisans disavowed ever seeing, buying, or eating such an inappropriately cut bagel and condemned it roundly. I’ve heard talk that the Mayor might call for an investigation to see if this is fake news, perhaps a photo-shopped picture involving collusion. Could it be a hoax designed to undermine our culinary creds as world leaders in toasted ravioli and gooey butter cake? 

No Time to Sit on the Sidelines

Others defended the practice, saying it merely points to the practical side of mid-westerners wanting more surface for cream cheese or a smaller, diet-size portion of the doughy clump.

Frankly, I’m not a bagel fan; I’m more of a biscuit and gravy kinda gal. So you might say, I don’t have a dog in this fight. But as the Irishman said when he walked into the saloon during a barroom brawl, “Is this a private fight or can anybody jump in?” So pick a side and join the melee.