Mask Protocol

This being a food blog, I feel a need to address the protocol of drinking (or eating) while masked. In the series of photos below, you can see how this can be done with a few proper hand motions. Normally, any device requiring new skills comes with an instruction manual. Not so with masks, which compels me to offer the following directions.

Grasp the Beverage of Your Choice

First, with one hand grasp the beverage of your choice, while reaching for your mask with the other hand. As beverage nears face, lift one edge of mask, commencing an upward motion over your eyes. Some spillage may occur, but practice makes perfect.

Some awkwardness is to be expected. After all, these are simultaneous movements your body is unaccustomed to performing.

Entanglements Will Occur

At this point there will be some entanglement for those who wear earrings, hearing aids, and/or sunglasses. This is normal. Stay calm. It will take a few moments to work your way through the mask-ear maze. 

Once mask is planted tenuously to the forehead, it’s safe to lift your beer/soda/iced tea to your lips. Be careful not to involve too many facial or neck muscles, as this will displace the mask and interrupt the safe transfer of said beverage.

Lastly, and very important, use a tissue (or your sleeve) to remove any moisture that may remain on the lips or chin, thus avoiding dampening the safety pad insert. Set the drink down and return mask to nose and chin, securing firmly. Check to see if earrings are missing.

Swallow.

Removing any drippage from chin keeps the mask tidy.

This may all seem a bit complicated at first, but by the time you finish your first beer, you’ll have it down pat. After 3 beers, you can drink straight thru the mask without bothering to remove.

Yes, social distancing and mask-que-rading can be fun if you follow the rules. Dr. Fauci would be proud.