I thought for a moment. “Would one of my books do?” I asked. (Authors always have extra books lying around.)
She paused. “I was thinking of something that might bring more.”
“Well, I have an old Dukakis-Bentsen tee shirt that I’ve kept since 1988, thinking it would go up in value. This might be a good year to sell. I’ll see if I can find it.”
“No, no you’re not tracking with me,” she said. (The elderly are often accused of being out of sync with the younger generation, a ploy we can use to our advantage, if we’re clever.)
Before I could come up with more distracting offers, she unveiled her plan.
“I want to auction YOU off.”
I was shocked! I’ve heard of Thow(ing) Momma from the Train” or losing her in the jungle, but selling her to the highest bidder? When I feigned disbelief, she explained. “I think we could auction off a lunch with you. You would be a hot item.”
I blushed. It’s been a long time since I’ve been referred to as a “hot item,” so I momentarily basked in the thought.
“You mean some guy wearing a ten-gallon hat with a megaphone in one hand and a gavel in the other would describe my fine points in a punchy, rapid fire spiel? ”
“No, it’s nothing like that. You don’t even have to be there.”
I liked that part. I could just send a thirty-year old picture of myself and leave the rest to the vagaries of the marketplace.
“You really think someone would pay to eat with me?” I said.
“Sure, if you don’t mind, let’s give it a try. It’s for a good cause.”
“Okay,” I said, hoping my value as a dining companion would at least run to three figures—in the interest of the cause, of course.
As it turned out, a kind and generous soul “bought” a lunch with me, perhaps wanting to save me from the embarrassment of being one of the leftovers at the sale. I am so grateful! My self-worth has soared.
This week my “purchasers” and I lunched at Truffles, which I consider a premier choice. Below are a few photos of the farm-fresh fare we enjoyed along with some great conversation.